


Long Way Home

by vehlr



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/560208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehlr/pseuds/vehlr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>With much love and respect to my artist, minorearth, who has provided me with a wonderful fanmix. Seriously, guys, she rocks.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - The Choice

**Author's Note:**

> With much love and respect to my artist, minorearth, who has provided me with a wonderful fanmix. Seriously, guys, she rocks.

Erica Shepard is the saviour of the organic races of the universe, and the destroyer of Reaperkind. She is also dying in the ruins of what must be the Citadel. She has no idea where she – or it – had landed, but there is smoke and orange and above all else the stench of death and flesh in the air. It hurts to breathe, but she _is_ breathing – she is alive and alone and everything is ruin and despair. In the distance she can hear the low buzzing of something moving. She wonders for a wild moment if this is the end – if she has been spared only to witness the birth of a universe without fear, without the Reapers, never to be a part of that dizzying future ideal – and then the ground rumbles and she surrenders to the noise, her heartbeat matching its terrifying jagged pace.

 

***

 

The ship is deathly silent, and Garrus in his half-awake state knows that something is wrong. Then he assesses his own situation – he is, despite his initial feeling, not in the battery or his bed. The metal grating moves underneath him as he rightens his body, assessing his suit for damage. Stats flicker up on his visor, confirming his general good health before he turns his attention to the room at large.

The floor rolls underneath him, the stark angle unnerving. Somewhere in the engine room he can already imagine Tali hard at work trying to restore the artificial gravity, along with whatever else was down. There are other crew-members throughout the CIC; some prone on the floor, others beginning to stir, and still others trying to make sense of the mess. In the dim light provided by the emergency systems, it is difficult to unravel. He hauls himself to his feet.

_Shepard. Where's Shepard?_

It is a familiar thought – she always managed to get lost or stuck somewhere, especially recently where separation had meant life-threatening decisions – but for a moment he forgets the day they have had and simply wonders where on the ship she might be. Probably in the cockpit with Joker, he decides, before the reality sinks in. Probably alone in the cold again – _no, don't linger on that. Get her ship back in the air, she's waiting._

“Garrus!”

Behind him, the asari limps over, trembling against him as he loops an arm around her shoulders to support her. She looks terrified, and he wonders what she has seen so far in the chaos.

“Are you alright?”

“I'll be fine. Must have been something I landed on. What's going on up here?”

“I don't know... did you climb through the -”

“Maintenance shafts, yes. The power's completely gone.”

“Tali'll be working on it. Did you see Doctor Chakwas?”

“She's already working out triage down on the next level.”

“We should do the same,” decides the turian, scanning the room with a wary eye. “How good are you with human medical biology?”

“Better than you,” she manages to quip, before kneeling down with a wince. “Go see if there are any injuries in the cockpit.”

He nods agreement – something he could do – before heading through.

Even before he reaches the pilot, he can hear the hoarse shouting.

“Come on, EDI, don't do this to me. Wake up. Wake up!”

Stomach leaden, Garrus can only watch from the doorway as Jeff clings to the inert robot body that had housed the artificial intelligence, slamming a hand against the controls that similarly did not respond.

“Wake up! Don't you dare! Don't you dare leave me behind! Not like this!”

But there was no response. Garrus closes his eyes, unwilling to see the pilot weep.


	2. One - Living

Lights. The first thing she is aware of is the lights; painfully bright, searing through her closed eyelids without warning. They fade again just as quickly, the rumble of indistinct noise with them, and she is aware of nothing else.

“... Shepard...”

She hears her name by familiar voices, but she cannot quite reach them. Garrus? – no, not Garrus, the resonance of his harmonics are too precise, higher. Legion. Mordin. Thane. Kaidan. Other voices, less familiar, sound a lot closer.

“Shepard?”

She aches. She aches in places that have not ached for a while – since she returned from the dead at Cerberus' hands.

_Oh._

She smiles, then, though it is bittersweet. _Not quite yet, my friends._ She can feel them smiling too.

With an effort, she opens her eyes to a too-bright world.

“Shepard? Commander!” A hand grips her shoulder, and her world explodes in pain. She tries to cry out, but her voice is too hoarse, and she shuffles slightly to shake the hand. It immediately retreats, accompanied by swearing and apologies, but the pain lingers and she turns to find the culprit.

The face is familiar, but it takes her a considerable while to remember the name. In the meantime, she croaks for water. A nurse appears at the edge of her wobbling vision with a cup, and she does not even attempt to reach for it. Sucking on the straw, she almost chokes as a whimper tries to bubble free. Ecstasy.

“I think the Commander should rest,” says the nurse in the sort of voice she is used to hearing from Karin. She wonders where Karin is.

“I know, I'm sorry.” The soldier has the good grace to look abashed, and she almost smiles at that.

 _Ah, that was it!_ “Coates.”

“Ma'am?”

“Coates.”

“That's me, Commander. You remember me?”

“Mm.”

“Do you remember anything else?”

She considers the question. “Mm.”

“Okay.” He smiles down at her, a relieved twist of the lips that looks peculiar on him – but then, she thinks, last I saw you we were in the middle of a battle. _Did we win?_ “I'll, uh... I'll let you rest. Me and the boys have been taking it in turns to keep an eye on you. Hackett's been worried. Well, I think he's been worried. I can never really tell with him.”

“Mmm.” That was something she could agree on.

“Take it easy, Commander. I'll be back later.” He winks reassuringly at her before moving to leave her side. She reaches out to grab his hand, hissing at the pain as her vision shakes again.

“Wha'... what happened?”

He blinks, before realising just how much she might not know. Taking her hand with care, he thinks about his words.

“Well... the Reapers are dead. There's a lot of stuff that comes with that, but the main goal was achieved. Whatever happened up there, in the end... you did it. You beat them.”

She hesitates for a moment, wanting to know more – but it requires so much effort already to be awake and it is exhausting her, so she simply nods. He smiles again, soft once more.

“Sleep, Shepard. It'll do you the world of good.”

She does.

 

***

 

Garrus and Vega carry the table out of the ship and down the slopes to a small cave, various people following with chairs. The fresh air would do them all some good, Ash had argued, and Garrus had to admit the sun felt good. The small 'war council' convene; himself, Ash, Vega, Liara, the good doctor and Tali. There is an empty chair, somehow quite by accident, but they leave it for the true leader.

“So.” His voice echoes around the small cave. “Where are we at?”

They go around the circle, reporting on what they knew to be true.

Ash looks worried. “I don't know about anyone else, but I think... EDI's dead. Gone for good. I just can't shake the feeling that when the power comes back, she won't.”

“The crew think comms should be our first priority when Sparks and her team get everything working again. People are going crazy without the news. I mean, we don't even know if we won.”

“We won. Shepard wouldn't let us down.” There is an awkward silence after Liara's words, but Garrus pays it no mind, turning to Tali.

“There's nothing really wrong with the components,” she explains in an exasperated voice, “but the energy isn't being accessed right. At this rate we'd be better off running around in the engine room like Shepard's hamster.”

“I would be prepared to do that,” volunteers Ash in a deadpan tone. Garrus almost smiles at that.

“My main concern,” begins Karin, “is Jeff.” Everyone stiffens at that. “You have all seen him. He is... a broken man, in every sense of the word.” Once they had separated him from EDI's body, he had gone completely silent and still, and Garrus wondered if the spark of life had gone from him too. But he understood that kind of grief all too well.

“What can we do, Doc? Man doesn't want to talk, he won't,” points out James.

“He's sick. He needs treatment. But I can only do so much.”

“Are you proposing group-based therapy?” Liara asks. “I am not sure if we are the right people for this kind of -”

“We are the only people,” she snaps, “and I will not watch him fade out like the ship did. I will not.”

“Doctor Chakwas, please, getting angry isn't helping anyone. I merely wonder if he would open up to his friends the way you wish him to.”

Garrus holds up a hand for quiet, and though she looks annoyed the doctor acquiesces. He thinks for a long moment, and does not miss the shared glance between Liara and Tali.

“Here's something nobody is willing to admit,” he says finally. “We have no idea how long we are going to be stuck here. What do we do about that?”

“Build shelters away from the ship.” Ash shrugs lightly. “So far the weather's been good, and we should take advantage of that before burning out the ship's resources. Gives us a chance to work on repairs without getting under our own feet. If the weather turns, we can always go inside.”

“What about food? Our rations won't last long, even on stringent measures,” asks Tali.

Karin considers this. “We have more than enough for you and Garrus to last a fair few months. Javik caters for himself, as usual. As for the rest of us... well, we could always grow things, or hunt. We are not so incapable, surely?”

“Sounds like the start of a plan,” murmurs Garrus, and the rest of the team nod. Things almost look encouraging. He wonders what Shepard would make of it all.

 

***

 

When she awakens, there is nobody but the nurse. A mouthful of water later and she is ready to ask questions.

“Where am I?”

“603rd MASH unit, ma'am. We're camped a little ways outside the city, near Hemel Hempstead.” The nurse sits next to her, tilting her head slightly. “I had family from here, so it's kind of weird that I'm back. You wouldn't even recognise it now.”

“I'm sorry.”

She smiles. “I guess it was worth it, really.”

Erica wonders about that. “How long was I out for?”

“We had you induced in a coma for about two weeks. Your, erm... enhancements... made it difficult for you to stay unconscious long enough for your body to start recovering, so it was deemed for the best. And then you were out for a few more days.”

“That long...?”

“You really, really needed it,” she admits. “You were in terrible shape when Major Coates found you.”

“Coates?”

“He went running off as soon as the Citadel came down. Somewhere near Kent, they said. The men who followed him said he didn't stop digging til they found both of you.”

“Both... oh.” Anderson. _Oh, Anderson._

“I'm sorry...” She reaches to squeeze the Commander's hand gently. “I hear a lot of good things about him. He sounds like he was a wonderful officer.”

“Yeah... he really was.” She wants to say more, but what is there to say to a woman who never knew him? He had been one of the greatest men she had ever known, and now he was gone. Blinking back unexpected tears, she continues. “Where... where's the Admiral?”

“Admiral Hackett?” At the nod, she smiles wryly. “Never too far away, funnily enough. He's been keeping an eye on you at least once every day or two. Says we owe you everything for what you did, and that he intends to find out what that was.”

She almost smiles. “Sounds like him.”

“If... if you don't mind me asking, Commander... what did you do?”

The silence hangs for a moment before Erica takes a deep breath. “I... I finished the job that people died for. That's all.” And that is all she says for the rest of the day on the matter.

 

***

 

By the end of the day, James and Steve are chopping down trees, half-naked and sweating but with huge grins on their faces. Meanwhile, Karin has roped her makeshift nurse, Sam Traynor, into joining her in tilling the land. Hard work, but honest, says the younger woman with a smile.

Meanwhile, inside the ship the crew work with a renewed purpose. In the engine room, four sets of hands check every single wire for a loose connection. It is easy, repetitive work that allows Garrus' mind to wander. He dreams of Shepard, and wonders where she might be.

“Garrus?” Tali taps the turian on the shoulder and he turns from his work to find her and the engineers yawning. “We're going to head off for the night. You should too.”

He nods, and she hesitates for a moment, clearly wanting to say something more, but it passes as he hauls himself to his feet.

“Goodnight, Tali.”

“Goodnight, Garrus. Sweet dreams.”

“You too.”

For a moment, he almost keeps climbing up the maintenance shaft to the top deck – but stops at the crew's quarters and heads for the cot in the battery. To sleep up there alone... no, he decides with a shudder. Not today.

He curls up, missing a body that is not there, and dreams of Omega.


	3. Two - Growing

Months pass.

 

Garrus paces the floor, watched by Liara as they wait for the news. The silence, broken only by the soft padding of feet, lasts for what seems a lifetime.

“I am sure she will be fine,” Liara says finally.

Garrus growls quietly, but before he can respond the doctor emerges from the quarantined medbay, running a hand through her hair.

“Well, the good news is we have contained the infection.”

“Thank the goddess,” murmurs Liara, but Garrus is not swayed.

“Contained isn't cured.”

“No, unfortunately we cannot do that without damaging the suit even further. And unless someone else happens to have a sterile quarian bodysuit lying around, we can't do that.” She looks pained at the idea of leaving her patient to suffer. “All I can do is treat the area as best I can until a better solution comes up.”

“We'll put the word out. See if we can't work something out.” He nods to the woman before heading back to the ladders. Liara peers through the glass at their friend, offering a mournful wave.

“How is he?” Karin asks, and the asari lets out a long sigh.

“Who knows? He doesn't talk more than he has to, but that's not exactly unusual. He keeps himself busy. Nobody wants to ask, in case he... well, stops.”

The doctor nods – they had all experienced the worst of Jeff's depression, significantly last week when power had finally been restored. EDI had, as predicted, not returned. Jeff had been inconsolable for three days, and was now shuffling around listlessly, poking and prodding at controls that were still unresponsive.

“Besides,” adds Liara, “if he stops, so do we...”

 

***

 

Ash stands and watches as the two men ready the shuttle.

“Now remember, no fighting. The minute someone pulls out a gun, you get back in the shuttle and you come here.”

“Yes, Ma,” teases Vega, and Steve cannot help but snigger.

“Don't sass-talk me,” she warns, but the smile lingers. As the turian approaches, she coughs – rather unsubtly – and the larger of the men re-emerges from the shuttle, throwing him an idle salute.

“Hey, Scars. Come to wish us luck?”

“You don't need luck, Vega. You need good hearing.”

“Eh?”

“Very funny.”

“I try, man. Besides, my man here is the eyes and ears of the operation. Right, Esteban?” From inside the craft, Steve yells back in the affirmative, and James grins. “We got this.”

“Good luck.” Garrus almost jumps as Liara appears from seemingly nowhere.

James nods in deference to her, before smiling. “Do I get a good luck kiss, Doc?”

“Ask me again when you bring us some good news,” she deadpans, and he laughs before saluting the group.

“Back before you know it,” he promises, before entering the shuttle. They linger to watch the craft take off, hovering above the ground almost dangerously low to conserve what little was left in the fuel cells. Garrus sends a silent prayer up to anyone who might be listening.

 

***

 

She is halfway up the hall, returning from the most recent round of physiotherapy, when she hears him.

“Just... just tell me if she can stand! I'm not asking for a bloody marathon run! I'll carry her if I have to- so long as she can _stand_!”

“Is that Coates?” she murmurs, amused already.

Jane, one arm around her waist, rolls her eyes. “Of course it is. Nobody else around here is that sodding loud.”

“Any idea what he's raving about?”

“I think you might be about to find out.”

As they turn the corner into her room, the Major turns and grins at the Commander, eyeing her up and down.

“Hello, Commander!” He turns back to the head nurse, a scowling woman by the name of Frida. “See? She can stand. That's all I wanted to know.”

“What's going on?” Erica asks, before the head nurse can reply.

“They've finished rebuilding the clinic,” he replies, and she smiles. The clinic had been small, but almost totalled. It had been her suggestion (through the Admiral, of course) to start small and rebuild something of use first, and so they had set to work. “I thought you'd want to be there at the opening ceremony.”

“Damn right I do.”

“Fantastic.” He shoots another glare at Frida, as if to say 'told you so', before continuing. “Be a good shot in the arm for the lads too, but the Admiral says if you can make it, you can name it. After all, it was your idea.”

She opens her mouth to deny it, but he is already ushering her back into the bed, talking about rest before the big day. The man leaves on the promise to escort her himself – she wonders if he gets bored of being her bodyguard – and she is left to the ire of Frida, already complaining about the 'soldier types'.

 

***

 

In the cool of the evening, she is alone – or so it would seem. She smiles into the darkening room.

“You can come out, you know.”

A silhouette moves, and then the woman is sat on the end of the bed, smiling wryly.

“Come, now, Shepard,” she chimes, her lilting voice quiet in the dusk. “You know I prefer the shadows.”

“Kasumi.” Erica reaches for her hand, fingers interlacing in the way they had always done. “I thought you might not have made it, you know.”

“I'm too good to be beaten to a pulp by Reapers or crushed by a falling Citadel. Not,” she adds, “that I ever want to repeat the experience.”

“What were you doing up there anyway?”

“Keeping an eye on you,” she laughs. “I snuck out of the Crucible project a few weeks before, wanted to keep my ear to the ground... you know how it is.”

“I do. Which is why I assume you have something for me.”

A laugh, rich and full of joy. Erica cannot help but smile. Kasumi nods. “I've been doing what I can to find our friends.”

“You know where Garrus is?”

“Not yet, but I'm working on it. Offworld communications aren't back up yet. Give it another month or two. But many of your friends in the field are accounted for.”

“Hit me.”

“Wrex is currently en route to meet up with Grunt and the other krogan of Aralakh Company. Zaeed is over in the Americas, and I hear rumours that he's with Miranda. Though not in that way. But who knows with those two, right? Next we have Jacob...” The list goes on, and Erica's heart swells with each piece of information, one more life that continues the struggle. It is late into the night when Kasumi finally stops talking and they just sit in companionable silence, glad to have this moment.

 

***

Garrus dreams of Shepard.

It is not the first time and he knows it will not be the last, but it is one of the worst. She is hurt, but she still smiles up at him, mouthing words that he cannot hear as the winds whip up around them. And then he hears it – a Reaper, announcing its arrival. They both turn to see it loom overhead, and she grins that manic smile and takes off running, impossibly fast and he tries to keep up but oh she's always just out of reach and-

“Shepard!”

He wakes up in the battery, feeling sick and more tired than before he had slept. He wonders, again, where she is. 

 

***

 

She dreams of Garrus and it hurts.

He smiles but never speaks, only toasting her from his seat at the bar. She is not even inside the damned place, nose pressed against the glass. He is joined by Thane, and her blood runs cold.

She wakes up with wet eyes and says nothing of it.

 

She stands in front of the doors, looking over the building.

“Commander?”

Erica looks to the man at her shoulder. “Yes, Coates?”

“The men need a name. You know, for the plaque. Moment of truth,” he adds with a wry smile.

“It should be named after a man who, despite failing, tried again,” she murmurs. “Someone who rose from despair and kept going. A man who did the right thing in the end. Mordin Solus.” She smiles gently. _After all,_ she thinks, _I met him in a clinic. It seems right that I should say goodbye to him in one too._ She holds a hand up to touch the door, closing her eyes. She remembers that last moment. _Seashells. There should be seashells in the waiting room._ She makes a note to tell someone.

“Commander Shepard.” The voice of Admiral Hackett is long overdue, and she turns to face the man, snapping off a salute that is less tidy than usual but understandable. He mirrors the movement, smiling softly at her. “How are you feeling?”

“All the better for being out and about, though I have Major Coates to thank for getting me past overzealous nursing staff,” she jokes. The Major winks at her, before saluting the Admiral.

“Good man,” says Hackett gruffly, though the wry smile belies any tone in his voice. “We're all glad to see you here, Shepard.” For a moment, she thinks he might try and embrace her, but he simply catches her arm, leading her through the building. “Let me give you the grand tour. It's not much, but it's a start – and a good one. We've got six housing compounds and a temporary medical lab going up in the next week.”

“You won't have to name all of those,” adds Coates with a laugh, and she chuckles.

Hackett, for his part, smiles. “No, I have something a little more... challenging, lined up for your future. That is, if you're -”

“Yes. Whatever it is, yes. I'm going crazy, 'resting' all this time.”

“Well, tomorrow I'll have the files sent over to you.” He holds the door open for her – she can already hear the nurses and doctors gathering in the next room. “Think of it as the next stage of recovery – for all of us.”

She regards him with a careful look. “You mean...”

“Yes. We're going to find them all, and bring them home.”

 

***

 

Garrus is the first to see the dust rising on the horizon.

“Lieutenant Williams! Your boys are coming home!” he yells down the ladder. A beat. Then a loud whoop and the clatter of feet on grating that had not quite settled back into position yet.

Liara is already out in the warmth of the day as they stumble out of the ship. She smiles over her shoulder at the pair before turning to watch the shuttle race across the fields below. It is another five minutes before the small craft skitters to a stop, 

Cortez and Vega emerge from the shuttle, grinning wildly. The latter is first to speak, aiming his comments at the engineers.

“You were right, Tweedle-dee. There's a whole bunch of colonies on this rock. The closest one's just a bunch of asari researchers and this turian chick, but they all said they've been in touch with others. There's a quarian working on getting some form of communications relay up and running on a ship about seventeen-hundred clicks northeast of us.”

“Really?” Gabby considers the idea. “Maybe they had the same idea that we had... I mean, it's a long shot, but...” She trails off, looking back to the ship thoughtfully, before scratching ideas onto the small piece of slate on her lap. Garrus chuckles slightly, before turning his attention back to the men.

Steve hauls out a box, offering it to the turian. “They have a food synthesiser,” he explains, “and only the one turian, so we offered a permanent trade, given how well the good doctor's crops are coming along.”

“Thanks.” He looks to Vega, smiling slightly. “Not bad for your first day in charge.”

The man shrugs, though he cannot quite shake the smile himself as he brings out another box of supplies. “What can I say? I studied the best.”  
“Shepard would be proud.”

“I meant you, _tonto._ ” He grins as he passes the surprised turian, leaving him to wonder what exactly he had meant. “The bad news is we don't have a new suit for Sparks yet,” he continues, “but there's one on the way, which is something.”

“Let Doctor Chakwas know. We can start working on a sterile room for the transfer.” Ash smiles broadly. “You did good. Once we get our short-range comms up, we can start networking properly, but for now you and Liara start drawing up a trade plan.” She claps the marine on the back, sending him off to his next mission, before turning to Garrus with a grin. “Who knows? Maybe someone on this rock will have some news.”

Garrus grins back. “We should be so lucky.”


	4. Three - Existing

Months pass.

 

“I think we should bring the memorial wall out of the ship.”

Ash's suggestion is met with confusion, for the most part.

“That's a little... unexpected,” murmurs Garrus.

“Well, I just got thinking the other day. If I was up there, I'd want the sun on my face. There's a nice little spot just inside the woods.”

“Where the blue flowers grow?” asks Tali.

Ash nods. “It'd be perfect. And... and I hate to be the one to say it, but I really think we should update it. I feel like we're disrespecting our kin.”

“Agreed,” says Garrus. “We'll get a list of names and work on plaques tonight.”

“No!” Liara slams a hand down on the table, making various people jump. “Not... not yet. I... I am sorry, but not yet.”

“Why not, Doc?” asks James, eyebrow raised.

“It is... well, Javik. He is ill. Gravely, I think, though he will not admit as such.” She looks down, voice getting low. “I do not want to... to jinx his health with all this talk of death.”

“Hey now. Buggy'll be alright. He's Prothean. Built to last, just like our ship, right?”

“Agreed. Javik's probably just missing the sunlight. We should get him out of the ship,” adds Ash.

“Easier said than done, but it's worth a shot,” murmurs Garrus. “The fresh air would do him some good.”

Liara nods. “I... I am sorry. I should have -”

“No need. It's... a touchy subject.” Tali reaches across to squeeze her hand gently. “After all, we don't really know who's alive out there, and... well, it feels like we're all holding our breath, sometimes.”

Garrus chuckles as James and Ash cringe. He knows they have both been careful not to mention the Commander's possible demise around him – but Tali knows better. Tali understands the feeling better than most of them, and he is glad to have her around as they tread water, waiting for news.

He hates that analogy.

 

***

 

She has an office. It is a depressing realisation.

Not that it is just an office, of course – she had dragged a cot into the corner, and spent most nights here now, waiting for news on the QEC that sat on her cluttered desk. Every day, someone pops in to make sure she is still eating, and there is the odd private running around to send a datapad to whomever needs the latest copy of a report, but for the main part she spends most of her days alone. Somehow it feels right. It feels like Garrus is closer.

She realises, about two weeks later, that she has never been further away – at least, whilst alive.

 

***

 

Samantha Traynor is the only person still awake when the silent form of Javik slips out of the ship. She does not notice until he passes by the edge of the fields, but his shadow catches her eye and she calls out to him. She is glad to see him out and about, though his skin – shell? She never could tell – looked considerably paler and his gait slower. He does not respond, and she jogs down the slope to follow him -

\- and she sees the knife in his hand, and stops. He turns then, regarding her with interest. She opens her mouth to ask what exactly is going on, but before the words reach her throat he is gone, vanishing into the woods. She stands at the edge of the field for quite some time, her breathing deep and her understanding slow but sure.

She returns to the ship slowly, unwilling to explain to the sleeping asari that the Prothean chose to hunt death before he became its prey.

 

***

 

He honestly does not mean to overhear them.

“Hey, Liara?”

“Oh! James... what do you need?”

“I was just... look, Doc, I'm sorry. I know you and Javik were building bridges of knowledge or whatever, but... he's gone. And it sucks.”

“... it, ah... it does.”

“But you can't lock yourself away in his cabin, hoping to... I dunno, absorb his memory or whatever, okay? World still needs you around in it for a long time.”

“I know, I just...” A heavy sigh. “I thought maybe I could... remember him better here.”

“You'd be better off remembering him here.”

“Oh!”

“Ah! I, ah... that... that wasn't supposed to be... I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”

Her laughter is the first good sound Garrus has heard today, and he smiles, already guessing what had happened – a gesture to the heart and an inadvertent chest moment.

“Oh, James...”

“Ahaha... yeah... sorry, Doc.”

“Please, no need. I am not offended.”

“Good, because that's a whole awkward moment I could do without.”

“Thank you, James.”

“Hey, any ti- _woah_.”

“Is this uncomfortable?”

“No, no, hugging is good. Just... unexpected.” There is silence for a long moment, and Garrus risks peering around the corner. Liara and James are in a gentle embrace, her head resting against his shoulder and his arms wrapping around her waist almost twice. 

“Javik respected you a great deal.”

“He did? Coulda fooled me. But then he never really struck me as the social type.”

“He knew worth when he saw it, even if... even if he never said as much. And you have much worth.”

“We all do. S'why Shepard kept us around, right? She saw in us what we don't see in the mirror.”

“That is... very astute.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not just a pretty face, y'know? “

She pulls back to look up at him in the bright moonlight, eyes curiously wide. “I know,” she murmurs. 

The turian turns away, unwilling to intrude any further on what would surely be the first of many moments of joy for the pair. _Well,_ he thinks with a wry smile as he creeps back to the huts, _I didn't see that coming. Shepard, you should have seen his face..._

 

_***_

 

It is late in the night when the call comes.

Erica rubs her eyes, feeling more than a little tired. She resents the sensation, having done nothing more than sat behind a desk all day, but it is becoming the norm quite quickly. She types out the last details on the latest plans for the next wave of buildings – more homes, more storage for supplies, less emphasis on military strongholds for now – before throwing the datapad down and leaning back in her chair.

The small screen on the QEC lights up, and by force of habit she looks. She fully expects it to be the hourly display of the top of the hour, but the screen reads differently.

_Shepard._

She scrambles for the keyboard. Text-based communications were a pain, but it was better than nothing.

_I'm here._

She knows who it is already, knows it could only be one person. Waiting for the next message is agonising.

_Ship running. Quarians on final checks. Test flight in 1 hour._

Her eyes widen, fingers frozen over the keyboard. They had been preparing a ship for weeks – Hackett had kept her out of the technical details simply because there was other work to be done – and they had promised to keep her updated. She had been somewhat dissatisfied with the speed of their communications, however, and had sent Kasumi in to keep an eye out for her. And now – now it was all paying off. She smiles, finally, and responds.

_Stay with them if you can. Let me know if you reach Luna._

_You owe me! -KO_

_Add it to my tab. -SO_

Sitting back, she resists the urge to cheer, instead focusing on the next hurdles to be tackled. She still had no idea where the Normandy might be, after all, and would continue to be in the dark until more ships were ready to explore the solar system. But it was a positive step in the right direction.

She dreams of her team.


	5. Four - Searching

Months pass.

 

The salarians shuffle back to their shuttle, and Garrus emerges from the cover of the trees with a grimace. Ash rolls her eyes, arms folded as she fills him in.

“They're no closer than we are, in terms of long-range comms,” she murmurs, “but they want us to think they are so that we'll give them our components.”

“I knew they sounded too eager.”

“And yet you left the girls to deal with it?” teases Tali, sidling up to him. He shrugs.

“I'm entitled to a day off, and today seemed like a good one.”

“Either way, they have nothing to bargain with. I corrected three of their circuit boards and told them to hail us if anything changes, but it looks like the Normandy is the best hope for reaching out.” The quarian stretches, before leaning heavily on him. “I could do with some time away from the engine room. Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.” He does not miss the smirk on Ash's face, but neither does he comment on it. She was entitled to think what she wanted, after all – he knew Tali's real motivation here. He offers his arm and she leads him back into the trees.

 

***

 

When the crucial matter of supplies is sorted out, the first ship home is claimed by an irate Commander Shepard.

“Admiral.”

“Commander.”

“You know what I want.”

“Shepar-”

“I've done everything you've ever asked me to do. More.”

“I kno-”

“I'm not asking.”

“You don't need to.”

“And I – what?”

“If you'd let me get a word in edgeways,” he says smartly, “I would have told you. The Valiant is under your command. Find them, Shepard.”

She does not need to be told twice.

 

***

 

She wakes up to find she is being watched.

“Kasumi, what are you doing in my quarters?”

The woman smiles impishly, before handing over a picture-frame. “Happy birthday, Shepard.”

Erica blinks, before the realisation hits. Her birthday. Which would make it almost a year since the Reapers. Righting herself slowly, she plucks the photo from her friend's hand.

“You remembered?”

“Well, I knew you probably wouldn't,” she drawls, but the smile remains. “And, uh... don't ask how I got this. Just accept that I did.”

The photo is of Garrus, hard at work in the main battery – _well,_ she thinks, _where else would he be?_ She cannot help but smile as she traces the lines of his face, remembering the feel of his tough skin. She was close to forgetting that sensation, she knew.

“Thank you.”

“It'll keep you going for now.” Kasumi leans over to embrace her briefly, before slipping back into the shadows. “Besides,” she adds from the darkness, “it won't be _too_ long now, right?”

Erica smiles., before heading into the shower. Coates would be waiting for her in the CIC, and the initial scans would be complete by now. _No, not long at all._

 

***

 

The first annual Normandy crash party is a roaring success. The asari crew bring the spirits, and news.

“What do you mean, you heard?” Ash looks incredulous. “We haven't got comms. How can you have heard?” At the mention of communication lines, the group fall silent, everyone waiting for the response.

Diana, the captain of the tiny colony, looks around them all. “You can't even _receive_ signals?” she asks with a smile. “We've been getting them. Not long messages, but the occasional sentence makes it through the static. It's how we know we can't be out of the solar system.”

“What did you hear?” asks the doctor, looking over her reading glasses with interest.

“That Shepard's alive and on the hunt for something. No idea what.”

“Shepard?” Ash grabs her shoulders, looking her dead in the eyes. “You sure?”

“V-very. If I'd known you had no idea...”

Ash grins, a stupid sort of smile but she does not care. Scrambling onto the top of the shuttle, she shouts to the group.

“Crew of the Normandy! Listen up!”

Everyone stops to turn and face her, curious expressions all over.

“We have just heard a little rumour floating around the colonies... a rumour that a certain Commander is alive.” Garrus freezes, and Tali reaches for his hand. “A certain Commander Shepard! She's out there right now!” Ash points straight up to the sky. “Somewhere out there, she's looking for us! And look at us! We're drinking and talking like we're not even bothered?”

James stands up, grinning like a maniac. “The hell with that!” he yells. “I'm bothered!”

“Me too!” says Liara, standing next to him.

“Shepard!” shouts someone else, and the cry turns into a chant as every single crew-member stands up, clapping and shouting to the heavens for their lost commander to hear – every crew-member but one.

Garrus remains sat, eyes closed as the sounds wash over him. Head tilted up to the sky, he smiles and opens his eyes.

“Shepard,” he murmurs.

Suddenly the noise increases. Down the tinny comms link, the small colony of turian hunters repeat the chant, and Ash cheers them on as the signal keeps going. From colony to colony, the name of Shepard is shouted up to the heavens until it wraps the mysterious planet up in a blanket of words and prayers.

And somehow, in the middle of it all, a salarian finally gets the offworld link up and running. The message beams out into space, clear as anything: _Shepard. Shepard, we are here._


	6. Five - Found

On the Valiant, an alarm is beeping. Commander Shepard heads to the conference room to deal with the problem.

“It's an incoming signal,” confirms the yeoman, brow furrowed in concentration. “It's static-filled, but I can clear some of it up...”

“Do it.”

“Tracking location... preparing probe.”

_Shepard... Shepard... Shepard..._

The back of the chair squeals under her vice-like grip, and for a second she can almost hear them. Their voices. It is not them, of course – it sounds like salarians, in truth – but she knows this is it. Almost a year to the day, and she has finally found them. She slams a hand against the table, and the yeoman jumps a mile.

“Ma'am?”

“Ready the shuttle. We're going down.” Her tone brooks no argument, and as she storms out of the room the yeoman cannot help but thank his lucky stars that she was on their side.

 

***

 

He is sparring with Cortez in the recently-harvested fields when he sees it. A streak of white in a clear sky. The sight distracts him enough that Cortez presses the advantage, twisting his arm and throwing him over completely.

“Ha! Been a while since I caught a break like that,” he grins, before frowning at Vega's lack of response. “What gives?”

“Holy shit...” James shades his eyes, his gaze fixed on the jetstream in the sky. “She found us.” And as the word spreads and the crew hurtle out of their huts and homes to watch the shuttle soar overhead, there is an overwhelming feeling of finality – that their madcap adventure, ever since they stepped foot on the ship, is about to be over. Of course, it would never be that easy, but...

… there is something in the air, he thinks with a grin, letting Steve haul him to his feet.

 

***

 

The salarians are overjoyed when the Commander steps into their compound. It is, however, short-lived. After a round of cheers and hugs, they insist that she leaves, much to her confusion.

“Get back in the ship,” one of them shouts, thrusting a datapad into their hands, “and follow this map! Go!”

“But -”

“Don't argue with the man,” Coates grins, waving the datapad in front of her. The name 'Vakarian' stands out, and she grabs it, breaking into a run as she heads back to the shuttle.

“I take it all back. The salarians are the greatest race.”

 

***

 

The shuttle crosses the plains and she stares out of the window with a gasp at the sight of the Normandy, land-bound and surrounded by huts. The crowd of people start cheering long before she can hear them, but as they draw closer she cannot help but smile at the sight of such dear and familiar faces.

As the tiny craft shudders to a stop, the door slides open and she is greeted by a wall of noise. Blinking in the sunlight, she steps out and regards them all with a grin.

“Sorry I'm late.”

Coates laughs as the crew of the Normandy cheer once more, swarming around their Commander just to reach out and touch her, to prove that she had once again survived the odds. He jumps out of the craft and is immediately greeted by the marines – the pilot, Cortez, and the painted soldier, Vega. They clap him on the back.

“Thanks.” Nothing more needs to be said.

 

In front of them, Liara is crying into Erica's shoulder as the woman holds her tightly.

“You're here... you're really here.”

“You know me, Liara,” she chuckles, “I always make it back. Might take me a year or two, but I always manage it.”

“Good to see you, Skipper.” Ash punches her in the arm, before

Tali almost tackles her. “Shepard!”

“Did you... did you change your suit?” She grins as she examines the quarian. “I remember purple. This is not purple.”

“Commander, you just came back from the dead again, for most of us. Stop fussing,” drawls Karin, though the expression on her face is gentle. Erica smiles wryly at the woman, before asking the question that had been on her lips since she woke up in the hospital unit.

“Where is he?”

 

The glade is cool, and the memorial stands apart from the trees, but she has eyes only for the figure in blue. He stares up at the wall, eyes tracing the names, before looking at the last plaque in his own hands. She wants so desperately to reach out and touch him, to finally connect -

\- and then he laughs, a low and throaty thing that makes her yearn for him.

“I never doubted you. Not for one second.” He considers the plaque. _COMMANDER SHEPARD._ “When we moved the monument, they wanted to commemorate you. They weren't giving up, but... they wanted to celebrate you. It felt too forced.” In one sudden movement, he snaps the plaque over his knee, the hard crack echoing through the trees. Dropping the pieces, he finally turns to look at her, drinking in the sight as she smiles up at him.

“Hey.” A simple, solitary word that carries with it the weight of the past year.

He smiles back. “Hey. Took your time.”

“You know how it is. Had to stop and help some people on the way.”

He chuckles, and she steps closer, reaching up to caress his face. He leans into the touch, his own hand covering hers. “That sounds like you,” he murmurs.

“Promise to ignore everyone from now on if you stay.”

“I was never going anywhere, Shepard,” he sighs, before pulling her into a crushing hug. His voice is quiet, content and worn like warm stones in the summer sands. "Welcome home.”

And for the first time in far too long, here in the arms of the turian she loves, she feels it in her bones – finally, truly, home.


End file.
